Roaring, flying motorbikes, mosquito bites and numb bums. Waterfalls. Swimming against the tide, rope-swing burn, a natural massage. Shaking hands (or trunks!) with a baby elephant, half a pineapple, dragon fruit, watermelon… sticky faces.. fingers… leaky boats, fruit skins at my sunburned feet. Joy.

A tropical crater lake- Jumping, splashing, laughing. Ten again with wrinkly fingers; prune-like toes. Catching tiny fish in cupped hands. The silencing Himalaya; creaking floorboards of ancient monasteries, gummy grins of Buddhist nuns; freedom, falling from reality. Breathing nothing and feeling untouchable. Creaky, leaning buses. Momo’s and noodles in shabby dhabas… Dalai Lama calendars flapping on the walls.

Golden wat’s, stupa’s, monasteries, ancient temples swallowed by trees, Buddha everywhere and in everything. Rituals, chanting and offerings.

Chimney stacks and cobble stones. Tea in friendly mugs. Bagpipes, kilts and tourists. Turquoise meadows, navy skies, leaves falling, dancing… lying, dying, crunched and kicked by excited black boots. Old pubs and pipe music. Mottled scarves and silly woolen hats. Snow falling like silver glitter.

Friends, family near and far. Words of love across the oceans; a photo, a letter, a reminder of home. Shared pain, joy and sorrow… seedy hotel rooms, tiny bus seats and that ‘bed’ in that ’sleeper bus’. Hugs when necessary. Also when unnecessary. A warm welcome and an offer of friendship… Drunken sausages, cookies, cozy films and Christmas pudding.

• Road-rules
• Pasta
• Salad
• Pasta Salad
• Double Chocolate Fudge Cake
• Western radio
• Water from the tap
• Washing machines
• Clevedge
• Bread without sugar
• Lemonade without salt
• Toilet paper
• Regular bowel movements
• New, dry undies
• An entire wardrobe of Tartan
• No reason to claim Ricky Ponting as my long lost uncle
• The opportunity to tell the Brits that Neighbours has been axed

Kathakali Performance,
Kumily, Kerala, India

Sri Meenakshi Temple,
Madurai, Tamil Nadu, India

Rides, Onam Festival,
Trivandrum, Kerala, India

Balloons, Onam Festival,
Trivandrum, Kerala, India

Backwaters,
Alleppey, Kerala, India

Local Transportation, Backwaters,
Alleppey, Kerala, India

Walking down the street you can almost feel the desperation oozing off the touts and store men. Its Sunday and off season, so everybody is vying for the tourist buck. We pay well, you see. White people are not too good at bargaining and surely have large families to “gift” with presents. (this is just one bizarre example of Indian English, others include “what all are you doing?”, “you’ve come from?” [where are you from] and “have you reached?” [have you arrived])

So, short of any REAL touristy things to do, we’ve escaped to a net cafe trying to avoid the selling schpiel. It goes something like this:

Yes madam…

Come look at my shop, just looking, no buying.

For you good price; I give you good quality madam.

Your country madam?

Ahhhhhh… Ricky Ponting. World Champs! Australia number one!
You like cricket? Sport? No? What you like?
AHH… I like music also. Who is your favorite?
You know Brian Adams? Phil Collins?
Backstreet boys? My favorite are Backstreet boys.
You know “Love is all I have to give?” It’s very good song madam.
You not like? Why?? Backstreet boys are cousins.
Yes, two are cousins.
Yes, I like it very much.
You married madam????

Needless to say, nothing I receive by e-mail could possibly be this confusing or irritating.

We are in Fort Cochin, in the state of Kerala on the South-west Indian coast. A very long way from my last post in Himanchal Pradesh…

So… from Manali, we headed to Mcleod Ganj, visited the home of the Dalai Lama (he wasn’t home…) and completed a ambitious two day trek in one day when we refused to stay at the (expensive) hotel at the top of the mountain and instead trudged down in semi-darkness. We visited Chamba valley, the highlight of which (for me) was the nice waitor with a lisp and the street full of Chappels (sandals) which I affectionately dubbed ‘Chappel street’. I was somewhat disappointed when it became apparent that there wasn’t a drive-by music blasting culture established, but did my best to amend the situation by walking and chanting ‘doof, doof, doof‘ under my breath. As if the locals didn’t think we were strange enough…

From Chamba we took a 18 hour bus journey to Delhi (eeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr) and from Delhi a 48 hour train journey to Kerala, then a direct (only 4 hours!) bus to Kumily, home of the Periyar wildlife sanctuary. As well as visiting a local spice garden (I ate cinnamon off the tree!), we completed a trek and boat ride within the sanctuary and spotted wild monkeys, deer, boars, squirrels and elephants as well as lots of birds and thousands of leeches. The closest we got to the illusive tiger, however, was spotting a fresh paw print in the track (the cynic in me thinks the park ranger planted it).

From Kumily we headed to Madurai, to see the Sri Meeakshi Temple: a huge Hindu temple built in 1560 and still used today by both the local people and the many pilgrims who travel to Madurai to give puja (prayers) to the deities. Whilst both the exterior and interior architecture was amazing, it was the electric atmosphere within that really blew me away. I felt completely caught up in a living, breathing history.

Kanyakumari was our next stop (the Southern most tip of India) for some beach views and yet another temple, then to the capital Thiruvananthapuram (otherwise known as Trivandrum… because god knows only the locals can say the full name) in time to celebrate Onam, a local festival. Rachel and I had a little too much fun at the fair… dodgy rides, elephants, lots of lights, balloons, music, dance and the most excited carnival atmosphere I have ever experienced. Wheeeee!

From Trivandrum to Allepey, for a ride through the lush backwaters and now in Cochin… an old Portuguese/Dutch area with lots of churches and even an old synagogue! About to head to Mumbai (30 hour train journey… and counting) to catch up with a few old friends and then we fly out. Bye-bye India. Bye Rach. Hello UK!