A hip thrust…

And a twirl…

“It’s raining men!”
Transvestite Caberet, DJ Station, Bangkok

Sa-wat-dii kha!

We are currently in Bangkok and I am continuing my now established pattern of writing a post the day after a night of revelry. Last night we hit Patpong, Bangkok’s famous red light district, a place where everything is for sale: the market extends beyond the many street stalls selling fake gucci everything and into go-go bars complete with ping-pong shows. We went to Patpong with the intention of seeing a transvestite caberet show and after some difficulty (the doorman asserted that my thongs didn’t offer enough arch support and wouldn’ t let me into the club- a pair of white heels for 99 baht [Aus $3.50ish] off the street ’solved’ that problem) we saw a fabulous rendition of ‘I will survive’ and ‘It’s raining men’ and began a long night of grinning like idiots (the mug sized tequila shot helped with this) and dancing like lunatics.

Despite Thailand’s reputation for partying, this has certainly been the wildest night we have had here, the rest of the time we have been diligently persuing that ever illusive good nights sleep (and believe me, between rooms that smell like cat piss and pillows as hard as rocks, it has been challenging). Not that we have done anything strenuous… I truelly believe that we have become the epitome of the lazy backpakker. At the suggestion of visiting Wats in Chaing Mai, Rachel and I merely murmured a ‘meh’ and ordered another pot of tea. On the proposal of a trek in the northern mountains, we decided it was time for another muffin.

We did get around to visiting an elephant sanctuary (pictures below) and completing a Thai cooking course, which produced memorable toffeed pineapple and excellent spring rolls… (the course, that is, not the elephants). And in Beautiful Pai we eventually dragged ourselves away from the bakery to a hilltop Wat.

When we arrived at Pak Chong, gateway to Khao Yai National Park stinginess prevented further lounging: we refused the expensive guided tour, straightened our backs, puffed up our chests and declared (with much pride) “I’m an independent traveller”.

Ahem.

An inaccurate prediction of both the size of the park and the availablity of transport within, saw us hitchhiking on day one and putt-putting up hellish hills on a 110cc bike on day two (sorry Lisa). It was well worth it, not only for the spectacular jungle scenery, but also for spotting ‘bonus animals’ (Wild monkey’s and Deer!)

As stressful as the thought of being stranded in a National Park filled with Tigers was, it was not nearly as frightening as the two hours where I lost Rachel in Pak Chong town… we had not predicted two sawngthaew (pick up bus) stations, so for at least an hour I thought (in order)…

1. Rachel had crashed the bike she was returning to the shop and was either dead or seriously injured

2. Rachel was having breakfast

3. Rachel thought I meant to meet her at the bus station

4. Rachel has a serious bout of dioreahh and couldn’t drag herself away from the toilet to meet me

5. Rachel had been mugged/kidnapped

6. Rachel had gone to Bangkok without me

Needless to say, when I eventually found Rachel I was glad to hear that she was uninjured, hungry and in full control of her bowel movements.

Back to Bangkok… the Thai ‘city of angels’; go-go bars, shopping complexes, wats and westerners. We are meeting friends tomorrow, and fly to Delhi the day after: Goodbye ‘fried vegetable noddle’, hello Paneer Tikka Masala!!

Buddhist Icon
Hilltop Wat, Pai

Selt-timer attempt #1
Khao Yai National Park

Papa Monkey
Khao Yai National Park

Baby Elephant
Thai Elephant Conservation Centre
(for disadvantaged and disenfranchised elephants)
Lampang, Thailand

Baby in traditional Yao headdress, Laos

Akha Village,
Near Muang Sing, Laos

Patience is truly a virtue. If there is one thing that I have learnt travelling through Asia, it is this.

Somehow in the last few weeks the Lao way of life must have seeped into my psyche, for events that would normally thrust me into ranting fits (and possibly inspire me to launch a shoe across the room) now only lead me to sigh, smile and accept (albeit quietly ranting under my breath) that ’such is life’.

My new found patience was put to the test on a recent bus journey, when we took an unexpected 2 hour ‘break’, while the bus was given an exterior paint job. And with no vegetarian options available on the bus station menu (but plenty of ‘bitter soup take softly excrement of buffalo’), it was a truly a long and frustrating wait. I really should have known that gloating about our cushy seating arrangements (2 seats each; enough to accommodate the glorious girth of our western thighs) would come back to haunt me…

The bright side of the bus journey was that we (eventually) arrived in Luang Nam Tha, gateway to Muang Sing, a tiny town on the cusp on the Lao-Chinese border and central to a number of Lao Hill-tribe villages. Here night time excitement saw us in an epic battle against mice and moths (I was SO brave!), whilst daytime excitement consisted of an attempted (illegal) border crossing (we got 20 meters past the immigration booth before we were hauled back… “What? OHHH, THAT’S the border???”) and trekking to local villages, including those of the Yao and Akha people (pictured above).

Relative isolation has allowed these villages to preserve their traditional beliefs and ways of life; The Akha people practice animism and erect protective spirit gates at the entrance of their villages as well as a spirit alter where dog or chicken sacrifices are delivered if a villager falls ill. Opium was traditionally central to Hill -tribe culture, poppy crops being cultivated for both trade and personal use and the region still produces some opium despite government crackdowns (We were offered it often enough to testify this) Amazing! (The villages that is… I don’t know about the opium).

So from the tiny villages of Northern Laos (the land that time forgot) to Chiang Mai in Northern Thailand… It has been a bit of a shock. I mean, what happened to the ‘fried vegetable with noddle?’ and where did all these people come from? I think I’m a bit slow on the uptake!

I anticipate Thai people having to exercise a little bit of patience with me…